Into The Father's Arms
She sat at the kitchen table desperately
searching the Bible for answers. When
was it going to be enough? Her
mind screamed out to God. Wasn't it
enough that she had to watch as narrow- minded people treated her son like he
was worse than dirt? Wasn't it
enough that she had to watch as her six-year-old son fell asleep at the supper
table after a hard day working in the mine, because they needed the money? Wasn't it enough that she had to wipe away his tears when
Adults and children called him names that he did not understand?
Wasn't it enough that she had to patch him up after a fight he got into
defending her? Wasn't it enough
that he ran away at thirteen to join the army?
Wasn't it enough when he came back six months ago physically beaten,
starved and very sick?
The mother's frantic search for answers
was interrupted by the screams coming from her son's room.
In frustration she threw the Book across the kitchen as she stood and
went to her son. As she entered the
room she saw him sitting up in bed. His
face was a mask of horror and hate as he swore at some unseen enemy.
"Is this enough!"
The furious mother yelled at God as she pointed to her child trapped in
the torments of a nightmare. "Is
this enough to pay for my sin." She
went quietly to her young son's side and softly talked to him.
Finally her voice registered in his mind
and he awoke. She went to put her
arms around him, but he pulled away from her touch.
He sat on the bed with his knees drawn up and his arms wrapped around
them. He rocked himself back and
forth as he fought to regain control. He
wouldn't look at her. He just
stared at the foot of the bed. As
she sat watching her emotionally tortured son she thought of the past six
months.
Even though her son had healed
physically, mentally and emotionally he was still wounded.
Ever since his return from the war he was plagued by nightmares.
Even during the day she would see him slip back in time as that place of
horrors trapped him once again. He
never talked about it. Actually he
did not talk much at all since his returned.
He would answer when spoken to, but his answers were always short and to
the point. He never started a
conversation and his silence usually ended them.
He would spend his days working at the
livery stable. His time with the
animals seemed to calm him. On days
when he could not go to the stable he was more agitated and the dreams more
intense. The woman had even found
him curled up in the stall of a horse sleeping on more than one occasion.
She got him a puppy, which also seemed to help.
The mother also worried about her blond
son's health. He hardly ate and was
way too skinny for a boy his age. At
meals she would encourage him to eat, which he did, she believe only to please
her. If she did not say anything he
would just push the food around on his plate.
When Leah looked into her son's dark blue
eyes that once shone with life she saw that they were empty, almost dead.
Each day she watched her son sink deeper and deeper into himself.
She was afraid that she was losing him and she did not know what to do to
stop it. If something didn't snap
him out of it and soon she was afraid he would die.
"Oh God!
Please help your precious child. It
wasn't his fault. He should not be
punished for what I did. He is in
your hands now Lord. What ever be
thy will let it be done. Amen."
The desperate mother prayed as she surrendered her son's fate completely
to God. She sat in a chair by her
son and rested her arms on his bed. She
buried her face in her arms and wept. She
fell asleep in this position and when she awoke he was gone.
********************
Heath sat on the bed fighting the fiery
rage that burned deep inside of him. Ever
since his release from Carterson He felt as if he was sitting on a powder keg
that was about to explode and it terrified him.
There were times he wanted to strike out and hurt someone as much as he
hurt. There were times he almost
did, but he always managed to keep the rage under control. He wondered for how long he would be its master.
When would it finally break free and consume him.
He feared that when that happened he would hurt those who were around
him. He made a vow to himself that
when he no longer could control the rage he would destroy it before it hurt
anyone else. But today he won the battle and the rage went meekly back
into its cage.
Heath looked over to where his mother lay
sleeping by his bed. He got up
quietly so he would not disturb her, got dressed and went to the kitchen.
He was about to exit the house when he noticed his mother's bible lying
on the floor where she had threw it. He
went over, bent down and picked it up. An
envelope fell out of the bible. He
scooped down and picked it up. It
was addressed to his mother and the return address clearly read Tom Barkley,
Stockton. Heath opened the envelope
and began reading the letter. In
anger he shoved the letter into his shirt pocket and dropped the envelope along
with the bible. He walked over to
kitchen cupboard and took down the box with some money in it. He then left the house and went to his boss's house.
When he arrived at the house he knocked loudly on the door.
"Heath what are you doing here at
this time of morning?" The
livery owner angrily asked as he answered the door.
"I need to use a horse for a few
days." Heath said as he handed
his boss the money. "This and
the wages you still owe me should cover it.
"Heath, you can use one of my horses
if you want. You don't have to pay,
but why couldn't you wait until later in the morning to ask?"
The sleepy man demanded.
"I have some business to take care
of, that has already waited too long."
Heath answered as he handed the man the money.
"Thanks for your offer, but I don't
take charity. When the man took he
money Heath headed to livery to saddle up a horse.
The determined young man rode out of
Strawberry and headed for Stockton. When
the runaway reached Stockton late in the afternoon he went to look for someone
who could give him directions to his father's ranch. He decided to try the Saloon.
"You are too young to be in here
boy." The bartender said
"I don't want a drink.
I just want directions to the Barkley ranch."
Heath replied.
"You are in luck kid, I work for
them. Just came into town for some
supplies and decided on a wet one before heading back.
I could give you a lift." A
tall red headed cowboy offered when he heard that the kid was looking for his
boss.
"I have a horse, but I be obliged to
follow you." Heath said.
"Names Duke McCall."
Duke said as he extended his hand to the young boy before him, who
briefly took the offered hand then pulled away.
"Heath." The kid told Duke his name.
He had not been able to tolerate being touched since the end of the war,
but he knew that it was impolite not to shake some ones hand, so he made the
gesture as quick as possible.
"Okay Heath.
Let's go." Duke down
the rest of his drink, headed for the door and out to the waiting wagon.
Heath mounted his horse and followed Duke as they headed to the ranch.
"Do you need help unloading the
wagon?" Heath asked when they
reached the ranch. He wanting to
repay the man for his kindness
"No that won't be necessary.
You will probably find Mister Barkley up at the house since it is almost
supper time." Duke said as he pointed to the big white mansion.
Heath walked up to the door of the
mansion and knocked. A tall skinny
black man with graying hair answered the door.
"May I help you?"
The servant asked.
"I am looking for Tom Barkley."
Heath replied
"Come this way."
The man said as he led Heath into a big room. The family was sitting
talking and enjoying each other's company while they waited for supper to be
ready.
"Mr. Barkley, there is a young man
here to see you." The black
servant announced Heath's presence to a tall blond man. Heath studied the tall man standing before him, so this was
his father. All his life he had
dreamt of this day and what he would say to this man, but now nothing came.
He stood nervously watching the man who was his father.
Tom turned and looked at the tall skinny
man standing behind Silas. This was
no man, but a boy. He studied the
nervous boy and thought that there was something familiar about him, but could
not place it.
"What can I do for you kid?"
Tom asked. His words
infuriated the son he did not know. How dare this man call him a Kid?
"Don't call me kid. I haven't been a kid since the first day I started crawling
around in the mines of Strawberry at the age of six to help my mother make ends
meet because of you. You son-of -a
bitch." Heath yelled as he
hauled back and punched Tom in the face with a force of years of built up anger.
Nick saw the little punk punch his father
and lunged at the kid. The two boys
wrestled on the floor until Jarrod and Tom pulled the dark haired boy off the
scrawny kid. The father went to
help the blond boy up, but the kid violently pulled away from him.
"I don't need your help.
I haven't needed your help for fifteen years I don't need it now."
Heath hissed as he got to his feet.
"Who are you and what do you
want?" Tom asked losing his
patience with this kid that interrupted a quiet family time.
"I am your BASTARD SON!"
Heath yelled at his father.
"You filthy liar."
Nick screamed and tackled the boy before Jarrod or Tom could stop him.
The force of the attack caused the blond to lose consciousness as his
head hit the floor.
Tom and his eldest son once again pulled
Nick off the unconscious boy. Tom
knelt down beside the stranger and wondered if what the boy said was true.
Was this his son?
Tom checked the boy over to make sure he
was still breathing and had a pulse.
"Nick go get a doctor."
Tom ordered his second son. "Jarrod
help me get him upstairs."
"You heard the lies he told.
We should just throw him out."
Nick spat
"Nicholas do as you father asks.
This boy is injured and needs a doctor."
Victoria ordered.
Nick reluctantly did as his father
instructed and went to get the doctor. Jarrod
and Tom carried the unconscious boy to a room on the second floor and laid him
on the bed.
"Is what he said true."
Jarrod asked his father.
"I don't know, but it could
be." Tom admitted
"So you had an affair with another
woman. Does mother know?"
Jarrod demanded. He could not believe what he was hearing.
"No.
I never told her." Tom
answered his eldest son as he looked at the boy lying on the bed.
Could this boy be Leah and his son?
Jarrod approached the bed; sat down as he
reached out and touched the boy's forehead.
"So he could be my little brother?
How could you have not known it was a possibility?"
Tom did not answer his son's accusation.
********************
Tom's wife watched her husband and eldest
son carry the boy from the room. She
also wondered if what the boy said was true, but if it was then that meant that
her husband did have an affair. After
he returned from Strawberry she suspected that it was so.
She had two choices; she could take her children and leave him, or she
could stay and fight for their love. She
was determined to save her marriage so silently forgave him, but never
confronted him about it. She had
even convinced herself that it wasn't true, but was this boy the proof.
"Mommy, I think that boy dropped
this." Audra said as she
pulled on her mother's skirt.
Victoria looked down to see what her
ten-year-old daughter was talking about. She
took the paper her little girl held out to her and read it.
"Oh God! It is true." She
cried as she dropped to her knees and wept as her compassionate daughter held
her.
"Mommy what is wrong."
Audra asked
Victoria did not answer. She just hugged her concerned little girl as she thought of a
little blond boy growing up without a father.
She thought of Tom's betrayal of their marriage vows and all the old
fears and insecurities started to resurface.
No she could not think about that now.
The child, Tom's son was injured and needed help.
She had to pull herself together.
Victoria managed to get herself in
control of her emotions by the time the doctor arrived with Nick. She escorted
the doctor to the room where his patient was.
Nick followed them upstairs and stood at the doorway of the room.
"What happened?"
The doctor asked the family as he started to check the boy over.
"I think he hit his head hard on the
floor when Nick tackled him." Tom
supplied the information
The doctor undid his young patient's
shirt and placed a stereoscope on the boy's chest to listen to his heartbeat.
"Tom can you help me remove the boy's shirt so I can examine his
ribs a little better." The
doctor asked Tom. Tom and Jarrod
held the boy in a sitting position as they remove his shirt.
"Bloody Hell!" Tom yelled as he noticed the boy's back covered in scars.
Victoria gasped.
"Who would do such a thing to a boy."
The doctor examined the scars closely.
"They seem to be fairly recent.
I would say they are less than a year old.
The boy also looks like he has either been starved or been very sick to
be this underweight. Maybe even
both." The doctor shook his
head in disgust as he continued his examination.
When the doctor finished his examination
he turned to face the Barkley's. "Well
I would say this boy has been though hell.
Not only has he been whipped and starved, he had a broken arm that healed
slightly crooked and I would also say his ribs were broken at one time.
By the blackness around his eyes I would say he hasn't been sleeping all
that well either. To top all that
off now he has a slight concussion. Luckily
he did not re-break his ribs."
"Will he be okay? The concerned father asked
"I would say that this boys main
problem is exhaustion and malnutrition. He
needs rest and food. Lots of both.
The blow to the head wasn't serious."
"But he hasn't waken up yet."
Jarrod informed the doctor.
"Yeah I know. Until he does wake up he should be watched very carefully.
When he awakes make sure he stays in bed and eats something."
The doctor said as he pulled out a bottle of pills and handed them to
Tom. "Give him a couple of
these if he has difficulty sleeping."
After he had left Victoria handed Tom the
letter and he recognized it immediately as he took it from her.
"He's my son. Oh! Victoria I
am so sorry. I never meant to hurt
you. It only happened once.
You got to believe me. Can
you ever forgive me."
"Tom, I knew when you came back from
Strawberry and I forgave you then. That's
in the past, but he is here now and he needs you, he needs us." Victoria
told the man she loved as she pointed to his son on the bed.
"Us, Victoria? You mean you will accept him." Tom asked
"I could never hold the sins of the
parents against the child, especially one that has suffered so much."
She said as she walked over and sat on the edge of he bed.
"I'll stay with him."
Tom watched his wife stroke the check of
he son he never knew he had and thought how lucky he was to have a wife like
Victoria. How could Leah not tell
him about their child? Now the boy
hated him, how could he make him understand?
Tom thought of the scars on the boy's back and how he had been starved.
Oh! Leah how could do this?
********************
Nick had watched every thing from the
door of the room. When Tom declared
the boy his son the dark haired boy raced out of the house.
How could his father do this? How
could he hurt his mother like this? He
ran to the barn.
Jarrod also watched everything that had
transpired in the bedroom. But
unlike his younger brother stayed and heard his mother forgive his father and
accept her husband's illegitimate son. Then
he went to find his emotionally crushed brother.
He found him in the barn and the two boys talked about all that had just
happened.
*******************
After awaking to find her son gone, Leah
went into the kitchen to see if he was there.
She noticed her bible on the floor.
As she bent down to pick the Book up.
She noticed the envelope on the floor beside the bible, so she picked it
up instead. She looked inside and
found the letter gone. Oh my
God!" She cried as she got up
and ran out the door.
She ran to the livery stable and found
her son's boss, Bill. "Have
you seen Heath?"
"Yeah, He came by my house about
four this morning wanting to rent a horse.
He said he had some business to attend to.
Woke the whole house up. That
boy of yours sure has been strange since he came home."
Bill complained
"You gave him a horse?
You know he ain't well why did you not stop him?"
Leah asked.
"Oh Leah you know that once that
kids made up his mind nothing will stop him.
If I didn't give him a horse to use he would have found another way and
you know it." The Livery owner
defended himself.
"Yeah you are right I am sorry.
It's just." Leah started to say but broke down crying.
When she got control of herself, she explained what happened and her
belief that Heath had went to confront his father.
She told him of her desperate need to get to Stockton.
He told her she could use one his buggy.
He hitched up the buggy for her and she headed out immediately, but how
could she reach the Barkley ranch before enraged boy?
When she reached Stockton she only
stopped long enough to ask for directions to the ranch.
She arrived at the ranch as Jarrod and Nick talked in the barn.
She drove the buggy up to the front steps got out and tied the horses to
the hitching post. She then walked up to the door of the white mansion and
knocked. When the black servant
answered she told him she was looking for her son.
Leah followed the tall servant up the
stairs to a room. At the door of
the room the servant knocked. Tom
opened the door. "Yes,
Silas."
"The mother of the boy is
here." Silas informed his boss
as he gestured to where the woman stood.
Leah looked into the room and saw her
pale son lying on the bed. She
tried to enter the room to go to him, but Tom stopped her.
"We need to talk Leah."
Tom hissed
"I know, but not now my son needs
me." Leah answered as she
pushed past the boy's father, but he grabbed her arm roughly and pulled her to
face him. She gasped as she looked
into the steely blue eyes of her ex-lover, so full of anger and contempt for
her.
"We need to talk now Leah, but not
here." He demanded as he
started to drag her from the room.
"Heath needs me."
She cried. "Let me go
to him." But Tom would not
listen to her pleads
Victoria watched her husband roughly grab
Leah and drag her from the room. She
could tell her husband was furious with this woman and decided that she should
be present during their talk. She
asked Silas to keep an eye on the boy as she got up and followed her husband and
his ex-mistress.
In as semi-unconscious state Heath heard
his mother's frantic voice. His
mother was in trouble and needed him. He
fought the darkness. "Mother!"
He cried as he awoke, sat up and looked around the room in confusion.
"Its good to see you awake."
Salis said to the drowsy boy when he turned to find the boy sitting up in
the bed.
Heath
looked at the black servant and remembered where he was.
He was in father's house, but he had heard his mother's voice.
"Where is my mother. Is
she here." He asked the
servant.
"She is down stairs.
They needed to talk." Salis
answered.
"With him!" Heath screamed as he jumped out of the bed and headed to the
door.
"You really need to stay in bed
sir." Salis said as he grabbed the boy's arm and tried to stop him.
The furious boy punched the servant as hard as he could in the stomach.
Salis doubled over in pain as the boy raced from the room.
*******************
"Why did you not tell me I had a
son. I had a right to know."
Tom yelled
"You had a wife and children.
How do you think they would have taken it?
I didn't want to hurt them. I
thought I was doing the right thing."
Leah cried.
"We would have dealt with it.
I could have made sure he boy was taken care.
He wouldn't have had to work in the mines at such a young age.
I could have keep you and that brother of yours from abusing him."
Tom seethed.
"I never abused him.
I would never hurt him. He'
my life." Leah cried shocked by her ex-lovers accusation.
"Well someone sure as hell
did." Tom screamed at her.
Leah turned away from him and buried her face in her hands.
She could not face him. After
all wasn't it her fault that their son suffered?
"Who whipped the boy?"
Victoria asked Leah
"He was whipped and abused during
his seven month incarceration at Caterson prison at the end of the war."
Leah answered.
"CARTERSON!" How the hell could have you allowed a boy his age to join the
army." Tom demanded of his
ex-lover. Leah turned and
looked at Tom as if he had struck her with his fists.
No one in the room noticed when the subject of their conversation slip in
"Where the hell were you?
Why weren't you there to stop me from joining."
Heath demanded of the father he had never known.
Tom reeled around to face the very angry
young man standing before him. "I
did not know about you." He
tried to explain
"Didn't know or didn't want to
know." The hate filled boy
seethed.
"It is because of you I ran away to
join the army. The reason I ended
up in that hellhole was because of you not her.
I hated going down in those dark cold mines to make a few pennies to help
my mother support your BASTERD son. When
I heard that the army was offering double what I could earn in the mines I lied
about my age so they would take me. I
thought it would be easy money." Heath
laughed sarcastically as he continued. "Oh! Yeah it was easy money. All I had to do was kill men and watch good friends die.
Oh but God seen to it that I was punished for that.
I winded up in that sinkhole of a prison camp.
With every whip that stung my back, every mouth full of maggoty food I
ate, every drink of filthy water I drank, every time someone cried out in agony
and every time a man died I cursed you. The
only thing that kept me alive was my hate for you.
I vowed that someday, somehow I would find out who my father was and make
him pay for the day I was born. Then
I found out it was you. All this
time that my mother and I struggled to survive you sat here in this fancy big
house with your real children and your loving wife while servants waited on you
hand and foot. You didn't even
consider that you might have left my mother to rot in that mining town with your
child." Heath spat in his
father's face then the angry teenage turn his wrath on Victoria.
"So how does it feel to find out
that your high and mighty husband is nothing more than a low down snake who used
a innocent woman and left her with child to fend for herself?"
He asked
Leah watched in horror as her only son
self-destructed in front of her. She
was powerless to stop it. Ever
since Heath had come home Leah had noticed the change in her boy.
She knew that he had been suppressing all the anger, hate, fear that the
war had caused. Now she watched as
those entire emotions surface as a fiery rage directed at the boy's father and
his family. She watched as Tom
reached out to put a hand on her blond son's quaking shoulders.
Heath threw off his father's hand.
"Don't touch me. Don't ever touch me."
Heath yelled as he grabbed Tom's gun from its holster and aimed it at
Tom. Both Leah and Victoria gasped
in surprise.
"So how does in feel to have your
devil spawn show up to destroy everything you hold dear?" The enraged young boy screamed as he held the gun on his
father with the expertise of a killer.
"Son put the gun down."
Tom pleaded.
"Don't call me son. You don't have the right to call me son."
Heath hissed as he continued to hold the gun on Tom.
"Heath, no.
I never told Tom about you. If
you have to hate someone hate me." Leah
pleaded as she stepped between Tom and the gun her son held.
"Oh, but I do hate you mother.
I hate you for never telling about my father.
I hate you for what you let him do to you, but more than that I hate
myself for being born." Heath
ranted. When he looked into his mother's terrified face and saw the
gun he was holding on her he realized that his rage was now the master.
Then he remembered his vow.
I
was a mistake. A mistake I am
going to erase." Heath told
her as he lifted the gun to his temples.
When Heath had pulled the gun on him Tom
had not been afraid. Even when Leah stepped in front of the gun he wasn't afraid
that the boy would use it. Now he
was terrified for now he knew the boy would use it. He had to stop this boy; he had to save his son.
But could he reach the boy in time.
*******************
As Nick and Jarrod entered the house they
heard yelling coming form the study so they listened at the door.
They heard every angry word the young boy threw at their father.
They heard and felt the boy's pain as he described Caterson.
As soon as they heard their father beg the boy to put down the gun they
quietly slipped into the room. Everyone
in the room was so intent on the boy with the gun that no one noticed the two
older boys. When Heath put the gun
to his head Nick made his move.
As Tom grabbed Leah to push her out of
the way Nick came up behind the youth, grabbed his arm with the gun and forced
the barrel away from the boy's temple toward the ceiling. The gun went off causing a hole in the ceiling.
Hanging onto the arm with one hand Nick grabbed the gun with his other
and twisted it out of the boy's grip. Nick
released the boy's arm as Jarrod took the gun from him and handed it to their
father. Heath lunged for the gun, but Nick tackled him and pinned him to the
floor.
"Let me go!" Came Heath's murderous cry as he struggled to free him
self from his older brother.
"No!
I won't ever let you go. You
are my little brother and no one not even yourself is ever going to hurt you
again." Nick screamed back as
he held the furious boy down.
When Nick first found out about this boy
he hated him. Even when Jarrod had
told him in the barn that their mother had forgave their father and accepted
this blond boy Nick vowed he would never accept him.
As Nick listened to the angry boy confront his father he realized that
this boy was not to blame for what had happened between Tom and Leah.
The minute Heath raised the gun to his head Nick knew that this was his
little brother and he had to save him.
Finally when the boy stopped fighting
Nick released his grip a little, but it was enough for the young solider to push
away his enemy and bolt for the door. Heath
had almost reached the door when Jarrod grabbed one arm and Tom the other.
The furious blond kicked and bit like a savage at both men in an attempt
to gain his freedom, but they held tight. Nick
grabbed the little warrior's legs to stop him from kicking.
As the enraged boy screamed and struggled they carried him to a room
upstairs. They placed him on the
bed where they held him down while he swore and fought against them.
*******************************
When Heath put the gun to his temples
Leah stood paralyzed by the terror that gripped her heart. She felt Tom's hands roughly push her out of the way as she
saw another man grab her son's arm with the gun, she heard the gunfire and
fainted.
Victoria had stood and listened as Tom's
son confronted his father. She saw
the anger, fear and pain clearly written on the young boy's face.
As the boy related the story of his life to his father she saw the anger
turn into an uncontrollable rage. When
she had looked into his deep blue eyes as he asked her what she thought of her
husband Victoria knew he had gone over the edge and that he was now dangerous.
She was about to warn Tom when he reached out to touch the boy, but there
was no time. Her husband's son
grabbed the gun and aimed it at his father.
Then the boy turned the gun on himself.
She watched as her middle son forced the gun skyward just as it went off
and saw Leah faint.
Victoria walked over, knelt down and
cradled her husband's ex-lover's head in her lap.
After Tom, Nick and Jarrod had carried the screaming boy away Leah
finally awoke. "HEATH!"
She screamed as she sat up and frantically looked around the room.
"Heath is alright. His father and brothers just took him upstairs."
Victoria assured the anxious mother.
"Oh my God!
What have I done? He is so
angry, so full of hate. If only I
told him who his father was or told Tom about him none of this would have
happened. I thought by keeping
Heath a secret I would spare everyone pain, but my silence only caused
more." Leah cried.
Victoria put her arms around other
woman's shoulders. "You are
not the only one to blame. Tom
should have known. I should have
known."
"You?"
Leah asked.
"Yes, I knew that Tom had an affair.
I wanted my marriage to work so I forgave him, but I did not even want to
consider that he produced a child with you.
I told myself it was impossible and locked the thought deep inside my
mind." Victoria explained
"Now is not the time for blame.
There is a very tormented boy upstairs that needs us all."
Victoria said as she helped Leah to their feet.
They went to the room where her husband and son's took Heath.
The two women watched as the boy fought and screamed.
After what seemed hours the furious rage ceased and the lost child
stopped fighting.
"I hate you." Heath whimpered
"I know, but I love you."
Tom answered back as he held his emotionally wounded son down to the bed.
"You don't even know me."
Heath spat vehemently
"No, but I want to."
Tom calmly answered
"Why? I am only your mistake."
Heath screamed.
"You are not a mistake.
You are my son and I will never let you go."
Tom said as he gestured to his two other sons' to release their hold on
the boy. He gathered his lost child in his arms and held him tight.
"I love you Heath."
"I not worth loving.
I have done terrible things." Heath
cried as he fought to free himself from his father, but Tom held on.
"You are more than worth loving.
You are my precious son and nothing you can do will ever cause me to stop
loving you." Tom whispered in his son's ear.
Heath stopped struggling and collapsed
into his father's arms. That night,
at the very moment Heath lost control of the fiery rage when it had escaped its
cage and threatened to destroy the boy, his father and brothers took over the
battle. They faced the rage head on
and conquered it.
Leah watched as Tom met and defeated
every argument the boy threw at him. When
her son finally surrendered to his father's love she knew that God had answered
her pray. As she watched father and
son cling to one another she knew what she had to do.
When Heath had finally calmed down Tom
asked for a couple of the pills that the doctor had left.
Victoria got the pills and a glass of water and held them out to Heath.
"Here son take these.
They will help you sleep." Tom
ordered
"I don't need them."
Heath said as he sat up and looked at the pills in Victoria's hand.
"Please sweetheart."
Victoria pleaded "The doctor said it is important that you get your
rest."
Heath looked into the eyes of his
father's wife and saw genuine concern. He
took the pills from her hand and placed them in his mouth. Then he took the water to wash them down with.
Tom sat on the edge of the bed as his blond son fell into a drug-induced
sleep. Tom covered his son up with
a blanket. Leah approached the bed
and sat down.
"I will stay with him."
Leah stated. She needed to spend this night with her son.
"That is a good idea.
I think the rest of us should go down to the kitchen to have something to
eat. Then we should go to
bed." Victoria said as she
sensed that Leah wanted to be alone with her boy.
They all agreed and went down to the kitchen.
"Nick I want to thank you.
If you had not been there." Tom
said putting a hand on his middle son's shoulder as they entered the kitchen.
Nick angrily pulled away from his
father's touch and glared at his father. "Because
of you and that woman I have a brother I never knew about.
A brother who feels that he is a mistake that needed to be eliminated
which he almost did tonight. I hope
you are proud of yourself, because I sure as hell ain't."
Nick spat as he headed for the door, but Victoria grabbed his arm and
stopped him.
"Nicolas Barkley, I will not have
you talk to your father that way. I
want both you and your father to go to the barn.
Scream yell hit one other but solve this tonight.
That boy upstairs doesn't need your anger.
He has enough of that himself. He
needs your love. He needs all of
our love if he is to survive this. He
needs to see us working together not tearing each other apart."
Victoria told her second born son.
Tom and Nick did as Victoria ordered.
Jarrod grabbed an apple and followed his younger brother and father out
to the barn. Victoria went to check
on Audra and found her asleep in her room.
Then she went down to the sitting room to wait for her husband and son's
to come back into the house. She
fell asleep on the sofa.
*******************
Six hours after Tom and his two older
sons went to the barn they returned to the house.
Victoria awoke when she heard them come in. She got up from the sofa and went to greet them.
"How did it go?"
Victoria asked Tom when Nick and Jarrod had gone into the kitchen to get
something to eat. She noticed a
bruise starting to form on Tom's jaw.
"It was rough at first, but he came
around." Tom replied
"So he forgave you?"
"Yeah, but not before he threatened
me." Tom answered
"Threatened you."
Victoria gasped
"Nick told me that if I ever hurt
his little brother again he would make me pay."
Tom informed his wife
"Well then you better never hurt
Heath again, you don't want to face Nick's wrath."
Victoria said
"No kidding, that boy can sure pack
a hell of a punch." Tom
laughed as he rubbed his jaw.
"Well Duke can manage things today.
I think the boys and I will go get some well deserved sleep."
Tom said as he headed to the kitchen to finally get something to eat.
After they were finished eating the three men went to bed.
********************
It
was early in the morning when Heath began to stir.
Leah sat by his bed talking to him quietly so he would know she was there
and he was safe.
"Good morning. How are you this morning?"
She asked when he finally was awake."
"I am okay. You don't have to
worry." Heath replied
"Good, because I should go home
today. I got to get back to
work and Bill will want his horses back."
"Okay."
Heath said as he started to get up.
"Where do you think you are going?
Leah asked.
"Home with you."
Heath answered confused by her question.
"You are home sweetheart.
This is your home now. It's
time you get to know your father. I
was wrong not to tell either of you about each other.
You need to stay here with him."
She told him.
"You are scared of me aren't
you?" Heath asked as he
remembered the look of terror in his mother's face the night before.
"Oh no.
I could never be scared of you, but I am scared for you.
Ever since you returned from the war I watched as you slowly die inside.
I tried but I could not help you. Your
brother's and father can. You need
to stay here with them." Leah
answered.
"I am so sorry for all the pain and
sorrow I have caused you. You would
have been better off if I had never been born."
Heath said
"Heath, don't you ever be sorry you
were born. You are my life and my
joy. My life would not have
been complete without you." Leah
said as she threw her arms around her son.
For the first time since returning from the war he returned the embrace.
"Promise me you will work hard to
get well." She pleaded
********************
When Leah finished saying her good-byes
to her son she went downstairs and found Victoria.
She told Tom's wife that she would be leaving that morning.
"Leah, if you are leaving because of
me don't. Heath needs you."
Victoria said
"No he doesn't. He needs his father and brothers not me.
The other night I prayed for God to help my son.
I surrendered him completely into the Father's arms.
That morning Heath found the letter that led him here.
Last night as Tom held Heath I realized that in order to save my son I
have to give him completely to his father.
Tom can help him I can't. My
presence would only cause more pain for everyone. I must go." Leah
explained.
Victoria agreed that it probably would be
for the best. She got Salis to make
a basket of food for Leah's trip back to Strawberry.
While Leah and Victoria ate their breakfast they talked about the little
blond boy. Leah told of how he was
before the war. She told Victoria
of the nightmares that plagued her son. They
both cried for a boy that had to become a man way too soon.
Finally Leah left for Strawberry.
****************
After Leah left Victoria went up to check
on her husband's son. She noticed
the tray of food Salis had brought up had been left untouched. Heath was standing by the open window as he watched something
in the yard very intently.
"Good morning Heath.
I hope you slept well." Victoria
greeted Heath cheerfully.
Heath turned and looked at her.
"Why are you doing this?"
He asked
"Doing what?" Victoria asked afraid that the boy was blaming her for his
mother's decision to leave.
"Why are you being nice to me?
Why should care what happens to your husband's bast?"
Heath started to ask but Victoria stopped him.
"Don't you ever call yourself that
again." She yelled.
"You think that because you are my husbands son with another woman I
should hate you, don't you?"
"Yeah!
You have every right." Heath
replied.
"So you think I should be the kind
of woman who can hate an innocent child. For
that is what you are. You are not
to blame for what Tom and Leah did." Victoria
said as she took his face in her hands and made him look at her.
"I won't lie to you.
I was hurt and angry when I found out, but I love my husband so I forgave
him. Since I love my husband so
much how could I not love his son." Victoria
told the young boy.
"Do you hate my mother?"
Heath asked
"At first I did, but now I see she
is loving caring woman who for one night lost her way and created a precious
child with my husband. A woman who
thought more of my feeling and my children's than her own.
I know you mother is sorry that she hurt me."
Victoria said
"So you forgive her."
Heath asked
"Yes sweetheart I forgive her."
Victoria assured Leah's son.
"Thank you." Heath said as he turned back to the window.
Sensing he wanted to be left alone Victoria left.
Heath watched as some cowhands tried to
break a big black stallion. The
horse fought with all its strength resisting it captivity as it threw man after
man from its back. As he watched
the proud stallion refuse to be broken Heath though of how like this horse he
was. Of how in Caterson he resisted
the men who tried to break him, but he had refused to let them win.
He had fought them with the same fury that the horse now used.
"Fight" his mind screamed out
to the horse. "Fight. Don't let them kill your spirit."
He turned away from the window, walked over to the bed and lay down.
He could not continue to watch the horse fight for its freedom. As he lay there he fell asleep.
****************
It was just after lunchtime when Tom
finally awoke. He went downstairs
and found his wife. Victoria
informed him that Leah had thought it was best if she went back to Strawberry.
She also told him that Heath had not eaten his breakfast and that when
she went to take him his lunch she found him asleep.
They were about to go into the kitchen to get Tom some lunch when they
heard a loud scream come from upsairs. They
raced upstairs and into the blond boy's room.
They found him sitting up screaming as sweat pour off his face. Tom went to wake him, but Victoria stopped him.
"Leah said if you touch him in this
state he will take you as his enemy and fight you.
We have to talk softly to him to convince him he is safe."
Victoria told her husband. Together
they kept assuring the boy that he was home and he was safe.
Finally their voices registered in the
boy's mind and he awoke. When Tom
went to put his arms around his quaking son's shoulders Heath tried to pull
away, but the father would not let him. Tom
pulled his son into a strong embrace and held him until he stopped shaking.
He made his son tell him of the dream, which the boy did reluctantly.
After the boy finished relating the dream
to his father, Tom told him to get dressed and join him downstairs for lunch.
Heath did as his father asked. Nick
and Jarrod were also up and having lunch when he entered the dinning room with
his father. Tom indicated to a
chair next to Nick for Heath to sit in. Nick,
Jarrod, Tom and Victoria all talked while Heath sat quietly staring at the food
on his plate.
"Heath, this is a working ranch and
everyone pulls their own weight. In
order to that they must eat. We
also don't have time for some to play with their food, so eat it."
Tom ordered the blond boy when he noticed that his son was only pushing
his food around on his plate.
"I am also not use to giving orders
twice, so I expect you to eat ever meal that is place in front of you without
any more foolishness. Understood."
Tom demanded
"Yes sir." Heath said as he started to wolf down the food.
Victoria and Tom exchanged a smile as another milestone in the boy's
recovery was won.
"Good.
After lunch you, Nick and I are going
to paint the fence." Tom
informed his two boys and went back to eating.
*******************
Tom, Nick and Heath were just about to
leave the house to go paint the fence when Duke knocked on the door and told Tom
that they needed to talk. Tom told
the boys to go get started without him as he lead Duke to the study.
Nick and Heath had just started painting
the fence when Heath saw his father and Duke come out of the house.
He saw them approach the corral that held the stallion.
He saw the gun in his father's hand.
In horror he realized that they planned on destroying the animal.
The panicked stricken boy dropped his paintbrush and raced across the
yard. As Tom raised the gun and
aimed it at the horse the furious boy tackled him and drove him to the ground.
Nick saw his new brother race across the
yard and tackled his father. "Oh
no! Not again." Nick thought, as he feared the boy was after the gun.
Nick dropped his paintbrush and raced after the blond.
"What the hell do you think you are
doing." Tom yelled as
Duke pulled his attacker off him.
"You can't kill that horse."
The frantic boy screamed.
"I have to Heath. The horse can't be broken.
He has already injured three of my best men. He almost killed one. I
won't have him hurt anyone else." Tom
tried to explain.
"Then let him go."
The furious boy demanded
"I can't do that. He has been stealing mares and causing a whole lot of
problems for the ranchers in this area. If
I don't kill him someone else will." Tom
said as he picked the riffle off the ground and started to raise it to destroy
the animal.
"Let me break him."
Heath pleaded as he stepped in front of the riffle putting himself
between his father and the horse.
"Let him." A loud booming voice deep in Tom's mind ordered.
As Tom looked into his son's determined dark blue eyes he realized that
this boy saw in the horse himself. If
Tom killed the horse Heath would take it to mean he too did not deserve to live.
"Okay.
You break him he is yours." Tom
said
"Are you mad. That horse will kill that boy." Duke said as Heath turned and walked toward the corral.
"I had no choice Duke."
Tom snapped at his hired hand. "I
can't explain it Duke, but I have feeling he needs to do this."
"He needs to get himself
killed?" Duke yelled as he
turned to stop the blond kid. He
thought his boss had just lost all his marbles.
"I don't think he will."
Tom replied as he placed a hand on Dukes shoulder to stop him from
interfering with the boy.
Heath
was about to climb over the rails of the fence when Nick grabbed his shoulder
and stopped him.
"Are you a fool. That horse is a killer."
Nick spat. He was angry that
his father would even think of allowing this boy to break this horse.
"So was I." Heath stated flatly. Nick
released his grip on the younger boy's arm, as he understood his father's
actions.
The three men watched as Heath played
what seemed to be a dangerous game. But
he always managed to stay just out of the way of the horse's hooves as he chased
the horse around the corral. Finally
Heath started to walk away from the horse making circles as he went.
Amazingly the horse was following him.
Finally Heath stopped, turned to the horse that had stopped behind him
and patted his sleek black neck.
"I wouldn't have believe it if I did
not see it." Duke uttered.
"I heard about men like him, but I
never thought I would meet one with the gift."
Another cowhand, who had came out of the bunkhouse to see what all the
commotion was all about, said as he whistled.
"Who is the kid?"
"That's my son. Heath Barkley." Tom's
loud voice boasted proudly. If he
could have seen Heath's face he would have seen a lop-sided smile play across
the boy's lips.
Heath gave the horse another pat then
walked over to the fence and climb out of the corral.
He walked over to his fathers and looked his squarely in the eye.
"So he's mine now?"
"A deal is a deal."
Tom said as he extended his hand to his son.
Heath took the offered hand and shook it.
"What are you going to name
him?" Nick asked.
He too was amazed with his younger brother's gift with horses.
"Rage."
Heath answered as he turned and walked away. He walked over to the fence, picked up his paintbrush and
started painting the fence. Nick
and Tom joined him.
*****************
Heath worked everyday on gentling Rage.
The more he worked with the stallion his nightmares got less and less
intense. When he thought the
stallion was ready Heath put a saddle on him and mounted.
The horse bucked a little, but the blond held tight.
Finally the horse surrendered and walked around the corral.
"Hey let's see if that nag of yours
can run." Nick challenged as
he rode Cocoa up to the corral.
"You are on.
Open the gate." Heath
answered the challenged. Both boys
race out of the yard and over the open range with the big black horse way out in
front. Tom watched as the boys
returned from their ride and noticed that his blond son was laughing.
It was the first time since the boy came here that he had laughed and Tom
thanked God for giving him the wisdom to allow the boy to break this horse.
*****************
Tom had to go out of town for a few days
on business. When he returned
Victoria had prepared him a special meal of all his favorites. After the main meal was over Salis came in and place a
dessert in front of Tom.
"Audra wanted to make something
special for your return." Salis
said with a hint of apology in his voice.
Tom looked warily at the dessert his
daughter had made him. He loved his
daughter dearly, but the girl could not cook.
"Thank you honey, but I am pretty
full right now. How about I save it
for my bedtime snack." He
planned on discarding the dessert after Audra had gone to bed.
Heath noticed his little sister's face
drop as their father refused to eat what she had made him. "Sir, this is a working ranch as such we all pull our
own weight. To do so you must eat.
We also don't have time for you to play with your food.
So eat your dessert." Heath
repeated almost word for word what his father had told him.
"Yes sir." Tom answered. He
swallowed hard as he began to eat his daughter's offerings as he glared at his
blond son. Audra's face just beamed
as her father ate the dessert she made for him.
Nick leaned over to Heath and whispered.
"He's going to get you for this you know."
"Boy howdy.
Don't I know it." Heath
replied as a lop-sided grin spread across his face.
When Tom had managed to finish the
dessert he turned to his daughter. "Honey
was that all you made?"
"Oh no, daddy I made you a whole
batch. Do you want more?"
She asked delighted that her father had enjoyed what she made.
"No I had plenty sweetheart, but I
think Heath might enjoy some. Would
it be okay if I allowed him to have some."
He asked his blonde little girl who nodded her head.
"Salis will you go get him some
please?" Tom asked the
servant.
Nick again whispered in Heath's ear.
"Told you he would get even."
Salis returned and place some of Audra's
dessert in front of Heath. Heath
took a bit of it and wished he left his father alone.
"Boy howdy, Audra this is
good." He lied.
Nick looked at his younger brother with
amazement on his face. "You
got to be kidding."
"Oh not at all. If she keeps this up she could be a chef at Carterson."
He said as he took another bit and tried to swallow it.
Audra who did not know what Caterson was
took his comments as a compliment. She
smiled with delight. "Thank
you Heath. You are my best brother.
The others won't even try what I make."
Tom, Victoria, Jarrod and Nick all
laughed with joy as they realized that the boy's joke was his way of letting
them know he would be fine.
*****************
Three months after Heath had gone to live
with his father he rode his big black stallion to Strawberry to visit his
mother. When Leah looked into his
eyes she saw them shining as bright as the sun with life.
Her son had been to hell, but his father and brothers brought him back
with the help of God.
*****THE END