The Gift

by Jana

Part 1

Four months, and he had to admit that he enjoyed being here, surrounded by the laughter, noise, and easy camaraderie that characterized this family.  His family.  The thought still took him by surprise.  Me with a large family, a sister and three brothers, who would have believed it?  Certainly not the rougher groups of ranch hands he spent his time with after Carterson’s.  No one he knew in Mexico.  No, Heath the loner, and a family to care for him seemed like opposite ends of the spectrum.  While it seemed as if his entire life had changed overnight, one thing hadn’t changed.  Even though he considered himself to be surrounded by opulent wealth, he was still poor.  Dirt poor.  He didn’t mind because riches to him were not wrapped up in money but he was getting to dire straights.  His clothes *cheap at best* were thoroughly worn, threadbare even, his saddle was cracked from continuous use, and a poor quality leather, that no amount of oiling could repair.  Yes, he needed money but he was not going to ask his family for a cent.  They had, after all, taken him in and given him love, support, room and board.  Asking for more would be selfish, but how was he going to get hold of $20.00 or so?  He continued to ponder this question as he rode back from Stockton.  He’d delivered the telegram as requested, and couldn’t even go in for a drink with the other hands as he had no cash.  Hell, not even two bits for a whiskey. *Now don’t that just beat all* I can’t remember being this poor since Carterson’s.   

Frustrated,  he decided to detour and go through the scrubby hills on the left.  This was a new area for him and one he’d been wanting to explore.  The wide‑open country made him feel peaceful. *A family and peace, what more could a man want? * As his mind wandered he let his horse take the lead and for the first time Gal stumbled.  Dismounting quickly he checked her front leg and decided that it was going to be a long walk for the two of them.   As the slow walk home began, he watched Gal falter more with each step. *The sprain must be worse than I thought*.  Rounding a bend Heath spied a homestead that he had not noticed before.  It was tucked way back among some trees. *Perhaps I’ll detour and see if they have a horse I can borrow and then I’ll come and get Gal tomorrow. * As he slowly made his way toward the house he began noticing small things.  The barn was missing roof shingles and the doors didn’t close properly.  The gate was broken and much of the fencing missing.  The animal pens were roughly patched and the house in need of repair. *White washing for a start, mended shutters, screen door broken and bent, porch planking was buckling, and the steps basically gave way under his weight.  If it hadn’t been for the two cows and a few pigs, he would have sworn he had come upon an abandoned house. 

Immediately Heath’s nature got the better of him and he wanted to help whoever lived here.  His mind conjured up pictures of a mama and her son  trying to make a go of it in a rough place.  Stop it Heath, he mentally gave himself a shake, and reminded himself that there were lots of reasons for a run down home.   Not everybody has lived your life.  He reminded himself that just six months ago this, to him,  would have been living in the lap of luxury.   With that thought in mind he knocked.  He heard shuffling inside and the rickety door slowly creaked open.  Standing in the doorway was a woman in her mid sixties he reckoned and he had to work hard to control his  laughter that almost burst forth upon viewing her.  Never could he imagine from her broad smile that she could be anything other than the most fun loving woman on earth. 

“Howdy mister, what can I do for you? The name’s Edna.”  As she was speaking, she dusted off her apron sending flour swirling in all directions.  Bits of cherry flew across the room as she hastily tried to clean her hands before shaking Heath’s. 

“Names Heath, Ma’am.  My horse sprained her leg about a mile back and the walk isn’t doing her any good.  I was hoping that maybe I could borrow a horse to get home and return him to you tomorrow.  My family doesn’t like it if I’m late to dinner.” 

“Well son, you’ve landed at the wrong ranch then.  Look around, now if you can ride a pig” . . .  her eyes glinted merrily. 

“No, Ma’am, don’t reckon the pig’ll do, thank ya just the same.” 

“Who is it Edna?” a gaunt older rancher asked as he approached the door behind his ample wife. 

“A boy, Heath’s his name, with a lame horse, he’s leaving as he doesn’t think he can ride the pig.” 

“Good, no time to jaw with strangers, we have work ta do.” So saying, he reentered the back room. 

“Sorry, wish we could have been of more help.” 

“No problem, I’ll just be on my way.”  With that Heath led the hobbling Gal home.  

 During the long walk home Heath had plenty of time to dwell on his problem, and the closer he got to the manicured lawn, beautiful gates and stunning house he called home he found an idea forming in the back of his mind.  

 He took Gal directly to the stable and saw to her personally that night.  It had taken the better part of five hours to walk home and he was  tired, dirty, and his feet were killing him.  Boy he didn’t relish having to put those boots on tomorrow!  But for all that, he knew that Gal was the one that had suffered the most.  After currying her real good, just as she liked,  Heath bent to look at the sprain.  It’s bad but thank God it’s not worse or I’d be horseless in the morning and losing Gal would be too much right now.  As he wrapped her leg, he thought back through his personal inventory.  Three shirts, a rifle, blanket, one pair of boots, two pairs of pants, nice belt, gun and holster, hat,  a deck of cards, a saddle, and Gal.  Well selling what little he had wouldn’t get him enough for new clothes, let alone feel like he could buy his brother a beer at the local saloon. 

*I've never needed much, maybe if I sold my rifle no one would notice and at least I could look respectable for the next five months or so.  Winter would be here then and with that season came a whole new set of problems.  He’d need a coat for starters, and some warm socks.  Just necessities really, but he didn’t want to ask for them, and God knew he couldn’t knit them himself.   He ought to be able to figure out a way to clothe himself.  Nagging at the back of Heath’s mind was that notion again, but how to do it and keep it a secret.  It wouldn’t do for them to know he had taken a second job.  Maybe he could use the need to ride Gal, get her back in shape.  Would this buy him a few hours nightly, or maybe on Sunday when they went to church?  They never pushed him to go to church.  Yes maybe Sunday would work.  Next obstacle.  Would the offer be acceptable to Edna and her husband? *Well it was the only option he could come up with, and he intended, by sheer determination to see that it worked out.  He would not ask for money.  He never did.  Charity and a Thompson didn’t go together. *Why had he thought Thompson, he was a Barkley now? *   Well he had trouble associating money troubles with his new last name.  This thought often gave him pause and caused him to smile.  Two people.  The poor Heath Thompson and the rich Heath Barkley, well he could blend the two.  Thompson could provide what Barkley refused to ask for. 

The house was eerily quiet to him. Everyone had obviously already gone to bed.  As he eased the boots off his weary feet in the entry, he picked them up and quietly climbed the stairs.  He still couldn’t figure out how Nick could continually break the peace of the house by yelling.  He always felt he was defiling its grandeur, not giving it the respect it deserved, if he got too loud, yet Nick seemed to do it daily.  How interesting this new family of his was. 

Opening the door to his room, he noticed Victoria’s door closing.  Smiling to himself he thought how nice it was to have people worry about him.  It would take a long time to believe they truly cared, but it was an interesting feeling none the less.  With happy thoughts and a decision about his problem Heath promptly fell into the deep oblivious sleep of the contented. 

He awoke early, ready to put his plan into action.  Meeting Nick on the stairway to breakfast he said,  “Hey Nick, today I’m gonna fix the fence on the north ridge and then take a look at the herd on the north forty.” 

“Sounds like a worthy day’s effort.  I’m going to look for that herd of wild horses down by Browns Culvert.”   

With the day’s plans settled they both enjoyed a hearty breakfast.  Eggs, bacon, ham, kippers, potatoes, steak, oatmeal, and his favorite, Silas’s raisin bread, fresh from the oven and dripping with icing.  Often the sumptuousness of the meals overwhelmed him.  There were many tastes in the family and often different from what might be expected (who would think Nick liked oatmeal) but still the abundance overwhelmed him when he truly thought about it.  Of course they would all eat beans on the trail and whatever game they caught, but at home everybody was looked after and pleased. 

He knew that’s why the raisin bread was there.   One night he’d mentioned it during a checkers match, as the only sweet treat he’d ever had.  A man had come through town selling raisins from his grape vineyard and Heath knew he’d never get any.  He just followed the wagon.  At the end of the day the kind vendor took the left over raisins, about two handfuls, and gave them to Heath.   He could remember wanting to cry out in pleasure as he carried them home in his grubby hands to his Mama.  She had added them to the bread dough and given him a special smile.  Thanking him for the treat she tucked him in and told him he would be rewarded tomorrow.  The next morning he had gotten his first and last piece of raisin bread and was transported to heaven.  Never had anything been so sweet.  He’d not had raisin bread again until after recounting the story.  Now it appeared once a week just for him. 

Again the resolve, if they could do all this for him he’d never ask for more.  Cutting a thick slice of the warm bread he turned to join the others at the table, only to catch the indulgent glance of Victoria and the pleased look of his sister as they tried to pretend there was nothing out of the ordinary going on. 

After breakfast he saddled the Barkley’s  newest stallion, Charger, telling Nick it would help keep Charger used to being ridden, as Charger was nearly broken and only a little skittish.  

 With that he went to mend the fence.  He had picked these jobs carefully for between the fence and the cattle lay Edna’s place.  Having finished the fence by noon he quickly mounted Charger and rode straight to Edna’s.  Dismounting, he once again noticed the disrepair and prayed everything would go smoothly. His knock was answered by a smiling Edna and seeing Heath in front of her she welcomed him inside with “How’s your horse young man and what brings you back this way?” 

“Well Ma’am, I had a proposition to put to you and your husband.  Is he home?” 

Looking around Edna called “George, that young fella is here again and would like to speak with us.” 

“Edna you know I’m busy trying to get this dang board down in the bedroom.” 

“Don’t you have a minute?  He rode all the way here just to talk to us.” 

A grumbling, “Be right out,” was heard and with that Edna offered Heath a seat.  George emerged from the bedroom looking like he had wrestled a bear all by himself.  He was covered in sawdust and sweat dripped down his face in rivulets. 

“What do you want?  Heath isn’t it?” 

“Yes Sir Mr.  . . . ” 

“Call me George, now hurry up and talk I ain’t got all day.” 

“Well Sir, Ma’am, you see I’m in kinda a fix and I thought maybe we could help each other.  Of course you’d be helping me mostly” he trailed off. 

Heath understood what it felt like to be told you needed help or money etc . . . and didn’t want to state his proposition wrong lest he offend his only hope.

“You see, I could use a little extra money and it seems like, maybe, I was thinking I could help you around here some.” 

“Now hold on a minute, I don’t need any help you . . . ”  George began. 

“Wait, Heath quickly cut in, like I said, you’d be helping me really.   I’m not asking for much. I’d fix that shed maybe and you could just give me what you think its worth.  I’m not even asking for full pay or nothing.  I’ll even do the work first so you can see that I’d do a good job.” 

“Oh George,” Edna exclaimed, “ we keep falling farther behind.  It would help.” 

“Edna, watch what you say, I’m not agreeing to nothing here.  Heath . . . that name sounds familiar to me.   Don’t hear it often.  Ain’t that the name of that new Barkley?  I think I heard it in town a month or two ago.” 

*Oh God here it comes, you need a new plan now Heath. * 

“Well?”  George looked at Heath. 

Looking very uncomfortable, Heath merely nodded yes. 

“OK boy, I’ll give it a try, it’d be funny having a Barkley working for me.” 

“Now George . . . ” 

“Its okay Ma’am.  I really do appreciate it.  I can come over on Tuesday and Friday evenings, and all day on Sunday.  Is that okay?” 

“Fine Heath, but don’t expect nothing more from us, see you Tuesday, and you just go straight to work on that shed.  No need to speak to us again.” 

“Yes Sir, Heath said, Thank you.”  Rising from the chair, he quickly left the house of his new employers.  As he closed the door, he overheard George tell Edna to stay away from him.  No kind words mind you.  You’re too trusting and as a Barkley, he’s looking for something.  I don’t know what but I’ll figure it out.  In the meantime he can get some stuff done around here.  

*Well at least I’ll get some money* Heath thought as he mounted Charger and went to work with the cattle. 

Finishing for the day, the cattle all accounted for,  Heath rode in, cleaned up for dinner, and joined the family feeling very relaxed for the first time in months.  Dinner went well he thought to himself, better than normal actually.  If he had asked anybody else at the table, they would have agreed. 

Heath worked tremendously hard, never slacking.  The principals he had learned as a child held him in good stead.  Two hours Tuesday and four hours by lamplight Friday, while the family went to town for a social.  When asked why he wasn’t coming he’d had to think fast, and he fell back on the old excuse that he wasn’t good at dancing.   He’d have to be more creative he decided, smiling slightly to himself.  They wouldn’t buy that excuse forever.  Next week he’d say he was going into town on personal business.   They never bothered him on this issue, well at least not yet.  Once again he was warmed as he thought about how hard they were trying to make him feel comfortable.  He could see how hard it was for them, especially Nick and Victoria, but sometimes he felt they  tried harder than he did.  Guilt works wonders, Heath concluded.  I’ll need to try harder, wonder what they’d say if they knew what I was doing.  Well,  like most things in his life, it would be just another obstacle to overcome, and he’d deal with it when it arose.  No sense anticipating what gave you a few good days before the inevitable storm hit. 

Sunday at the Barkley’s nobody was expected to work, so Heath disappeared to George and Edna’s while the rest of the family went to church.  He still wasn’t ready to explain why he never joined them for church and again he was grateful they didn’t press the issue.  He couldn’t stand any more staring in a house of God.  Church was supposed to make you feel better about your lot in life but all his experiences were negative.  So on Sunday he spent all day under God’s sun instead, trying to finish the shed.  He’d gotten a good start in the previous six hours, but today was his day to really make progress and show them he was useful.  Sawing, hammering, nailing, he didn’t even break until long after noon.  The water from his canteen tasted real cool when he finally did take a few minutes off.   Wiping his mouth on his sleeve, he petted Charger briefly.  Gal would be better soon he thought, but in the meantime he was enjoying riding Charger.  As he turned to go back to work  Edna appeared from inside the house.  As she opened the door, the aroma of fresh baked pies assailed his nose and he could feel his stomach begin to rumble.  Time enough for food tonight, today I have work to do, but  as he continued back to the shed Edna called “Heath, would you like some fresh made lemonade?” 

“Sure would, Ma’am.  Thank you.” 

As Edna handed Heath the glass George called from the window, “I told you no favors for that boy.  Get the lemonade and come back in, we didn’t offer to feed him.” 

Flinching inwardly at the often heard remark or some other like it Heath returned the undrunk lemonade to Edna, smiled and said “Thank ya anyway, Ma’am.”  He returned to the shed and worked hot, sweaty, and shirtless, throughout the day.  From her window Edna once again observed Heath and thought *It’s a good thing we don’t have daughters!*

  **********

By five p.m. Heath felt he should call it a day and it seemed George agreed.  “Get on home boy, won’t be done today anyway.” 

“Yes Sir, should have it done by Thursday night though.” 

“We’ll see.” 

“George, I told you he’s a hard worker and he’s done wonders already.  Can’t I offer him a sandwich for the ride home?”  

“Edna I said no.  Least not until I can figure out why he’s here.  Expect the Barkleys want our land and he’s checking it out for them.” 

“George come on, have you seen his clothes?  He may be a Barkley but it seems to me he needs to be here too.”

 “No reason for the rich Barkley’s to be here, heard tell that now that he’s come even he will be rich.”  And that’s how it was left as Heath rode away, once again wondering if people’s memories would ever dim. 

This pattern continued for the next two weeks but on Sunday of the third week Edna again took Heath a lemonade. 

“Do you think I should Ma’am?” 

“Call me Edna and that’s an order.  I’m not a Ma’am.” 

“Yes Ma’am, Unh Edna.” 

Smiling Edna said “That’s better, drink up.” 

The lemonade felt cool to Heath’s parched throat and he gratefully gave her back an empty glass when he noticed George watching.  Not wanting to get Edna in trouble Heath said “Sorry Sir, I’ll get right back to it.  Could I have a word with you when I’m done today?” 

“Sure, come on Edna” George said, as he left Heath to finish up.  About five again Heath rinsed off, slicked back his wet hair, and replaced his shirt over his tired muscles.  This was hard work, keeping a secret that he was doing two jobs, and trying to get enough sleep to allow him the energy to keep up this pace.  “I’ll be right back Gal” he said and went to find George.  Today would be payday.                                                                                                                                               

“What Heath?”  George grumbled, fully expecting Heath to ask for money. 

“Well I was figuring it was time to be paid.  I’ve finished the shed, repaired the animal pens, and done the front stairs to make them safe for Edna.”  He figured helping Edna was the least he could do. 

“So you have, so you have” George muttered.  “Okay, I was figuring you’d be wanting your pay soon.  Here’s $20.00, that okay with you? .” 

“Yes Sir.  Fine.  Are you happy with my work because I could sure use to keep on here?” 

“Be back Sunday and get started on the porch.  Now get on home with you.” 

Mounting Charger with a leap Heath rode home, money in his pocket.  It was a good feeling.  The money wasn’t much, at least not compared to what the Barkley’s paid, but it was what he needed and after all he was only working 14 hours per week extra. 

 On Wednesday, when he went to the General Store for supplies with Nick, he intended to buy a new shirt, maybe two.  Not much, he needed to start saving for a saddle.  You know he amended to himself, a family, peace, and financial independence was what he needed to really feel good.                                               

“Buying yourself a new shirt, Heath? I was wondering when you’d finally get around to it.” 

“Sure am, Mr. Weber.  Figure its about time, don’t you?” and smiling he picked out a blue chambray. 

 As Heath was tucking it in the buggy for the ride home Nick asked, “What’d ya buy?” 

“Just a shirt Nick, hey you want a beer before we head home?” 

“What, you buying?  Of course.”  Nick added. 

Feeling on top of the world Heath treated his brother to a beer. *Yes the extra job and the exhaustion that came with it was well worth the price. 

That night during their nightly card game of Pinochle, Audra noticed Heath’s new shirt, and dimpling said,  “That’s a nice looking shirt Heath, makes your eyes look bluer.” 

“Thanks.” 

“Are you blushing, hey Mother, I think Heath’s blushing” she teased? 

“Now Audra leave him alone, and Heath that shirt does look nice on you.” 

“Are you playing cards . . .  

“Heath, your trying to change the topic.” 

“Sure am, and I’m tired too.  If we don’t finish now I’ll have to assume I win by default.” 

“No you don’t, Audra giggled, I’m winning now.”  In the next few minutes of heated play Heath promptly beat Audra and kissing her lightly, thanked her for the game and turned in.  Falling asleep for the night Heath felt amazed at the changes in his life.  He was calming down, less angry, settling in.  It was a great feeling.  What was that they said about complacency?  Never expect things to stay the same.  Change was a constant. 

Once again finishing his chores he rode the recovered Gal to Edna’s and began to work.  Over the past few weeks, as he accomplished many necessary jobs, George relaxed his vigilance, trusting Heath to keep up a steady pace.  Often now Edna would be working outside in the garden near Heath as he worked on one of the many tasks needed to keep their home from caving in around them.  She told him many stories of her youth and of their move to Stockton.  This day would be no different and Heath was looking forward to it, but today her casual words changed everything. 

“Heath dear, I hear Saturday is Victoria’s birthday, and as everyone knows her birthday is her favorite day of the year.  What are you getting her?” 

Stopping abruptly, Heath turned and said “Why?” 

“Why, what Heath.” 

“Why should I get her something?” 

Smiling, Edna answered “Heath its customary to get your family members something on their birthdays, and with how excited all the Barkleys get I figured it was something you’d be thinking about.”  Seeing the look of hopelessness  that crossed his face she waited patiently for his next carefully measured words. 

“Edna. I didn’t even realize it was her birthday.  Even knowing it now I don’t have the  money to buy her a good gift.   Hell!   UH, excuse me.  I wouldn’t even know what to get her.” 

 Despair, complete and dark,  washed over him.  He wouldn’t even be in Stockton before her birthday and with all her lovely possessions he was sure there was nothing in all of Stockton that would be good enough for her.  At least not as good as he would want it to be.   She was special to him, she deserved the best.   

His own birthday had been 2 months before, but he never even gave it a thought. Hadn’t in years.  Since fifteen he’d not celebrated a birthday at all.  Often the day passed unnoticed , until weeks later when he would realize May 10th had come and gone.  He  recalled that his birthday celebrations were always a quiet walk with his Mama, and a chance to really talk with her.  He’d never had a real present before.  Okay, he’d bought girls things before, but that was for different reasons altogether.  Why couldn’t it have been one of the others birthdays first.  Victoria he really wanted to please, needed to please.  Running was his first thought.  I could go away on business and miss the entire week.  No that wouldn’t be right, maybe just pretend I don’t know and leave really early that day. *Why had no one mentioned it to him yet?  Of course they wouldn’t see the need to tell him.  They would just expect him to know.* 

Edna, seeing all this cross Heath’s face, once again thought how expressive he could be when one got to know him, and had an idea.  “Wait here Heath,” she said, running inside.  Returning a few minutes later she handed him a box of lovely floral stationary that was unused.  “Heath, I think this might make a good present for Victoria.  It was from my sister, Thelma in Boston.  She gave it to me thinking I would write her after George and I moved to California.  I didn’t tell her, but I never liked the pattern.  I also hated to write, so I never used it.  Now she’s dead, been gone ten years, so I know I’ll never use it.” 

“I really couldn’t Ma’am.” 

“Heath, don’t call me Ma’am,” she said, as the realization came that he resorted to formalities when he was embarrassed or nervous. 

“Yes Ma’am, uh..Edna I mean.  I just wouldn’t feel right about taking the stationary.  I’m sure I can figure something out.” 

“Heath, I know its hard for you to accept things, but this isn’t charity, you can pay me if you feel you need to, but you’ll never get to town before her birthday.  This makes sense.  Please let me help.  I want to.  Makes me feel like I have the son I never got.” 

Realizing it was about the only solution to his problem, Heath accepted with, “Okay, but let me pay you two dollars for it, I’ll feel better that way Ma’am.” 

*I’ll let the Ma’am go this time but never again* thought Edna, as she answered “Of course Heath, if you insist.” 

Tucking the prized package in Gal’s saddlebag Heath wondered at Edna’s kindness and stunning revelation that she felt like he was her son.  More importantly, he wondered if the present was going to be good enough for his adopted Mother.  Letting her down would almost kill him. 

July 10th turned out to be the brightest day of the year so far.  It was as if God had instructed his angels to see to it that Victoria’s birthday was as perfect as he could make it as well. *What a beautiful day for a beautiful woman* Heath thought.  Descending the stairs, he saw Audra carrying a gaily wrapped package, so he quickly returned to his room and collected his, thanking

God silently that Edna had wrapped his for him.  Entering the dining room he placed his package along side all the others.  They varied in size, shape, and color, but each giver, his brothers and sister seemed very excited.  He felt his stomach knot and began to unconsciously fiddle with the buttons on his shirt sleeve. *Something more than just a birthday seemed to be going on here.*  

He served himself from the sideboard, grabbing a coveted piece of the raisin bread, and joined Audra and Jarrod at the table.  As the first fork full of eggs entered his mouth he heard Victoria exclaim “Good Heavens” as she entered the dining room.  “Are all these for me?’ 

“Of course Mother, who else has such lavish birthdays” Jarrod said with a fond smile. 

It was easy for Heath to see what Edna meant.  Obviously Victoria’s birthday was a yearly highlight that everyone took joy in.  To bad he didn’t feel any delight only heightened nervousness. 

“Well Mother, Nick boomed entering with yet another package, are you ready to begin the opening ceremonies?” With that he placed his package at the head of the table directly in front of his Mother. 

“Does anyone mind if I open them while you eat?  I’m to excited to eat now.”

 “No of course not Mother, Audra said, that’s what we love about your birthday, start with Nick’s since he put it in front of you and lets see what he picked out for you.” 

Slowly opening the gift, taking off first the ribbon and folding the paper neatly, Victoria, prolonging the agony, gave a smile. 

“Hurry up Mother,” snarled Nick.  His anticipation almost as great as hers. 

“I am dear,” she said with am impish grin. 

The entire family Heath noticed, just shook their heads and grinned back. *So this is a birthday celebration, I wonder if it’s the same for everybody?* Heath watched, wide eyed as Victoria removed a lovely sapphire necklace from the depths of the velvet box, and once aging his stomach clenched.   

“Oh Nick, how lovely, you know how much I love sapphires.  I didn’t wear any jewelry this morning, just in case.   Come fasten it for me please.” she said holding it lovingly up to her throat. 

Rising from his chair, a huge grin splitting his face, Nick made his way behind his Mother and ceremoniously fastened the clip.  While doing so, he bent down and whispered, just loud enough for the entire table to hear, “They bring out your eyes, but today you sparkle more than the gems.  Sapphires for a gem of a Mother, I just seemed right somehow.  Happy Birthday.” 

“Alright Brother Nick you have had your turn” Jarrod piped up.  “Mother if you want a truly inspired gift on this special day may I direct your attention to the red envelope on the table.” 

Opening the envelope Victoria gasped.  “Oh Jarrod, I can’t believe it.  How did you ever manage to get the thirty acres of Cobblers Creek I’ve wanted for the past fifteen years?  Finally, the perfect spot to enjoy picnics with my grandchildren.  Have I told you how your Father would take me to Cobblers Creek and...........” 

“Yes Mother many times” three voices said in unison.   

Laughing at herself Victoria said “Well maybe I’ll save the story for another day then.” 

“Jarrod, how do you do it every year?  No matter what I come up with you top me.” Nick said. 

“Just a keen sense of knowing Mother’s tastes exactly dear brother.” 

As the banter continued Heath  felt his stomach tighten past the point of all probability and stopped eating lest he embarrass himself by being forced to run from the table. *Guess I should have left early after all.* Knowing that there was no way to salvage his gift he began praying in earnest for a disaster to befall the cattle herd, anything to get him from the room. 

“Now mine Mother,” Audra’s light voice brought Heath from his dark musings. 

“Okay dear, which one is it?” 

“The blue one.  Here I’ll get it for you.”  And with that she handed the flat blue package to Victoria.   

*It’s a book.*, Victoria mused as she unwrapped the elegantly wrapped gift.  As the wrappings fell away awe entered Victoria’s eyes.  Enclosed was a hand embroidered scrapbook with her and Tom’s wedding date and the birth of her children recorded on the cover.  Slowly opening the book, and lingering over each page, her hand occasionally reaching out to touch a picture as if she could rekindle a memory from the feel alone, Victoria’s eyes grew misty.  Inside Audra had compiled pictures of Tom’s and her life.  A gift more precious than words.  A legacy for all generations to come.  

“Audra it’s perfect, she said raising to hug her daughter, when did you find the time?” 

“I think I beat you this year Jarrod,” Audra gloated.  “Mother. I’ve spent months on it, absolutely months.  All our friends pitched in with stories and pictures.” 

At that moment Silas entered   the dining room with a lovely vase of pink and white roses.  “Excuse me Miss Audra.”  “I’ve made this arrangement up in your favorite colors to help decorate the house for your birthday, Ms Barkley.” 

“Silas, every year you are so thoughtful.  These are lovely, perhaps the prettiest we’ve ever grown, and where did the white ones come from?   I’m sure we have no white roses.” 

“No Ma’am, I traded them with Wilbur Jenkins.  Glad you like them.” 

“Silas, you know I do and you shouldn’t have gone to all the trouble.” 

“Nothings to much trouble for you on your birthday Mrs. Barkley.” 

Reaching for the last gift Victoria exclaimed, “What have we here?   It must be from Heath.”  Smiling she opened his offering *At least that’s how it felt to him, an offering, not a gift.* Heath thought. 

“What lovely stationary Heath, where ever did you find any this pretty. How thoughtful  knowing I’ll have all these thank you notes to write.”  With each placating word she uttered he felt his world collapse just a little.  Grinning like a school girl, she clapped her hand together and declared “I think I can eat now, but mind you all to save room for cake after the party tonight. 

*I know I’ve been gone a lot but how could I have missed hearing of a party.* On one side of the table sat Victoria hoping for a day that would never end and across the way sat Heath wishing the day never began. 

While the men were out working, the Barkley home was fully transported into a fairyland for Victoria’s party.  Candles blazed from every window and available candle holder.  All the silver was polished to a gleaming state and the crystal sparkled.  Flowers adorned every nook and cranny and even the banister was wrapped in lace.

The garden was also alight with Chinese lanterns strung between the trees.  The garden path was lit with candles, ingeniously placed in paper bags , held down by sand.  It was a new idea from the East coast , and all agreed that Victorias birthday was the proper place to implement the new trend.  Jarrod had already picked out a place to bring the lovely Candace for a moonlight stroll, and perhaps another of her fabulous kisses. 

By nine p.m. the guests began arriving, in carriages that had been freshly washed.  Everyone was in their Sunday best, and a few of the more well to do ladies wore gowns that they had made up in San Francisco for the occasion.  Each person came bearing a wonderfully wrapped package.  Victoria was showered all night by well wishers, reminisces of past birthday bashes, and thoughts to the future. 

The live orchestra that Jarrod had engaged played throughout the magical night, and the gowns of the ladies twirled in a myriad of colors as each danced until well into the early hours of the morning.  Occasionally one could glimpse a gentleman leading his fair lady off for one of the coveted moonlight strolls. 

Around midnight Victoria, on Jarrod’s arm led the way into the dining hall where everyone refreshed themselves with a cold feast that included such delicacies as imported lobster, lamb curries, and crab stuffed mushrooms.  After dinner Nick announced it was time for the piece de resistance, the cake.  Out was wheeled an enormous two tiered cake decorated with flowers, both candied and real.  A pink velvet ribbon encircled each layer. And the very top held a filled crystal champagne goblet.  After presenting the glass to Victoria, she took a sip and the cake was cut and passed out to every attendee. 

As the party ended the guests assured Victoria that each birthday was better than the last, and that this one was the best yet.   

Heath somehow survived the party that night, packed with well wishers, bearing gifts that made the queen’s birthday look trivial.  By the end of the night Heath had counted fourteen packages of stationary.  As he had observed the steady progression of happy guests his resolve tightened as much as his stomach had done that morning.  I am a Barkley!  Never again will I be left looking like a poor relation who doesn’t understand what makes a good gift.  No that’s not entirely true, it was a good gift.  My gift would have pleased my mama no end, would’ve been one of the finest things she’d ever seen.  Not just one of a multitude easily forgotten.  But Victoria isn’t my mama, she is kindness itself.  No, next time my gift will be as good as any of the family members.  I’ll see to it. 

Riding to Edna’s acted as a balm to Heath’s injured pride.  As he approached he noticed that the ranch no longer looked run down and un‑lived in.  Pretty soon he’d be out of a job.  Edna appeared and seeing Heath’s face, she decided he shouldn’t be alone and offered him Sunday breakfast.  George poked his nose out the door and said, “Come on in boy, she’ll get her way.  Always does.  Join us.” 

As he was moving to a seat at the table Edna decided to jump right in.  “So Heath, how was Victoria’s birthday?” 

His face darkening he said “I reckon about everybody in Stockton turned out to celebrate.  Trying to forestall the inevitable he added, It was quite an elaborate affair.  House decorated to the hilt, food galore, and all lit by candles twinkling in the night.” 

“And.......”  Edna added. 

“Oh, my gift, she really liked it, she said it was lovely.   She seemed real pleased Ma’am,” he said fully knowing what it was she was asking.  He didn’t want to upset Edna, she had helped him out.  At least he had a gift to give her.  Being the only one with out a gift would have been much worse. 

*Ma’am again, well I guess I should have expected that from him* Edna thought, after all Mable had come over late Saturday after the party and told them all about it.  Seemed flowers, stationary, and fresh baked goods, were in abundance.  Mable also stated how beautiful Victoria looked in her new sapphires from Nick and how wonderful Audra’s book that they all had helped on was.  How kind Heath was to try and gracefully let her think he was proud of her gift.    The more she saw of this boy (no man she amended) the more she admired him.  Other men would curse, or spell out all their annoyance angrily.  If Heath was ever on his own again she would gladly take him in.  He was charming. 

“Glad to hear that Heath,” she said, then she realized he had begun to talk with George as she was thinking about him. 

“I know the work is almost finished Sir, but I’ve got another offer for you.  I’ll continue to help you around here.  It should be all finished by September, but then winter will be approaching and I know you’ll have harvesting and have special needs for the animals.   That new horse needs breaking in.  I’d like to stay on and help if I may, and be paid partly in money and partly in redwood so I can make Christmas presents for the family.  I’d also like the use of your barn and tools so they don’t find out what I’m doing.”  Last night as he had lain awake reliving the dreadful day over and over, the ideas struck him and he now had Christmas ideas for all of them.  It would take work, time, and patience but he was sure it would be the answer to his present problem.  He knew he would never have the money to buy elaborate presents like gems, so he would make their gifts.  All he needed was George’s okay. He had enough for the new saddle set aside and figured he had a start on a winter coat.  He could do without the rest. 

“Well Heath, I reckon I can do as you ask.  I must admit you’ve been very valuable to us and I’d hate to see you go.  Startin’ to be like family,  boy.” 

“Thank ya George, Edna, I’d best be getting to work on the roof,” and with that he left to begin his day.  Mounting the ladder to the roof he thought fondly of George and Edna and about how awful George was with tools.  He was good with animals, but the house would have fallen down around them without intervention.  It seemed to Heath that most of the repairs he needed to do had been made much worse by George’s attempts to fix things.  They probably would have been better left alone.  Yes this was working out.  George was overcoming his hesitancy and prejudice toward Heath and Heath was able to feel like a man.  As he repaired the battered roof he thought of what his family did in their spare time, how they never questioned where he got his money or what he did all these nights he spent working for George and Edna. *Wonder if they care at all or just figure I’m using their money.* No use giving it too much thought and he turned his attention back to the roof and put in another long hard day. 

Monday roundup started on the ranch and he would need to be rested.  He quit for the day after finishing on the roof and asked George to order him the carefully thought out amounts of lumber and also explained he would not make it Tuesday but would be there Friday as round up should be completed. 

As always round up was hot dusty work and everyone from the Barkley sons to the foreman and ranch hands pitched in fully to complete the job in as little time as possible.  After the first incredibly long days in the saddle, Heath riding on reserves basically fell asleep as soon as he had Gal settled for the night.  Nick offered food but he was to tired to eat.  Everyone awoke at the break of day and after a quick meal at the chuck wagon the next long day began.  Each night was the same.  Heath settling Gal and Nick offering food which Heath declined before he dropped into an exhausted sleep.  Friday at 4pm saw the conclusion of the round up and Nick and Heath wearily trudged into the house. Both men were greeted warmly by Victoria and Audra and told to clean up for dinner.  Returning downstairs, Heath interrupted a conversation in progress on plans for later that night.  Audra was asking Nick if he was going to the dance like all the ranch hands to celebrate a successful round up. 

“Of course, Sis, wouldn’t miss it for the world, and seeing Heath he added, you coming too?.” 

“No Nick, I don’t think I could take all that noise, I’m gonna ride Gal to the lake and spend some quiet time after dinner, then hit the sack.” 

“You sure have been sleeping a lot, are you ill?” 

“Ill, Heath why didn’t you say anything?” Victoria admonished, moving to place a kiss on his forehead to check for fever.

Smiling at the novelty Heath said “No I’m not ill, it’s just been a long week and I’m tired is all.” 

“Well you don’t seem to have a fever.” 

“He didn’t eat much either Mother, Nick added.” 

Exasperated Heath said, “If I was sick I’d go see a doctor, let me be.   Let’s eat.  Something smells good.” 

With his words they adjourned to the dining room.  After dinner Nick, Audra, and Victoria left for the dance and Heath snuck off to Edna’s.  Heath finished the roof and as the sun went down he moved inside to tackle the loose floor boards in the bedroom.  While Heath was finishing up George entered the bedroom, gave Heath $10.00 and asked him to join him in the barn.   

Heath went with George and his eyes were greeted with the most glorious redwood he had ever seen.  Sections of burl, with their intricate patterns and birds eye were also included.  Without thinking Heath hugged George, then quickly realizing what he had done backed away.  Moving to gently run his hands over the glorious wood Heath thanked George and added Edna’s name to the thank you as he saw her on the other side of the barn, eyes sparkling with mirth.  She had obviously seen  his hug to George.   

“I’ve never seen wood this wonderful.  I’m sure I don’t make enough to cover it.”   

Edna came and hugged Heath and George added gruffly, “It’s the least we could do for you boy.  Your like family now and well Edna loves you.  Is this what you were looking for?” 

“Sure is,” Heath remarked trying to break free of Edna’s bear hug, embarrassment getting the better of him. *Would he ever get good at receiving affection?* It did seem that the wall was crumbling but that nagging fear that it wouldn’t last gnawed at Heath deeply.  “I best be getting back before they miss me.”  Turning abruptly and moving toward Gal he mounted in one fluid motion and galloped off as though the devil was chasing him, all the time unaware of George and Edna, arm in arm smiling as they watched him ride away.  

The next few weeks flew by for Heath as he alternately worked on branding the entire Barkley herd’s new calves and continued to keep up with the repairs on George and Edna’s place.  He interspersed the work with closeting himself in George’s barn to work on Christmas gifts for the entire family.  He was going to need more time if he was ever to complete them all and time was becoming a precious commodity, as the family was already remarking on his extended absences from the usual family pre‑dinner drinks, dinners, and after dinner games they all enjoyed.  The long hours working were beginning to take their toll as well.  Heath was tired, pure and simple.  He was used to hard work and long hours but he’d need a break soon, and couldn’t quite figure out how to get one. 

“Morning all, he greeted his family entering the dining room, is that raisin bread I smell?” 

“Yes it is Heath, Victoria answered, and thank you for joining us, the bread has missed you, as have we.  The rebuff gentle but not unnoticed. 

“I know, I’m sorry Heath stated, things should calm down soon.” 

“Oh Heath how wonderful,”  Audra exclaimed. 

Heath chose to remain silent from here on out so nobody began questioning what was taking up so much of his time.  Let them wonder, he thought.  He was having a hard enough time figuring out lies to tell them.  If they really thought about it they would assume Gal was ready for the glue factory soon.  She was his major excuse, and it was hard for him to believe that any horse needed all the exercise he said Gal did. 

Munching his way through the raisin bread, he listened to the conversation that ebbed around him.  He often wondered at how easily it flowed with no input from himself.  It was at these times that he felt he was an outsider, lucky enough just to be allowed to tag along, then every time this thought crossed his mind one of them , his brothers, sister, or Mother, would invariably pipe up and ask him a question, making him feel that maybe, just maybe he was wrong.  Today was no exception. 

“Heath, you're not paying attention!  I asked you which of the horses of the new five you felt we should keep and which to sell.  Think the least you could do is act like a member of the family and pay attention when I talk to you.” Your not here some nights, you never go to town on Friday, and Lord knows where you go on Sunday while I sit in that stifling church, but when I ask you a horse question and I have deferred to your superior knowledge on horses for months now, you could at least have the courtesy to listen!”  

“Huh..were you talking to me Nick? 

A strangled aaarrrggghhh reached every ones ears as Nick rose from the table and leaned as close to Heath’s face as he could get.  “Yes, I’m talking to you!  Pay attention!  I was asking about the horses we just bought from Gurneyville” Nick shouted ignoring the rest of his speech. 

“Well why didn’t you say so?  What do you want to know?” 

With a disgusted exaggerated sigh Nick sat down and once again asked Heath about the horses. 

All this was done to the amused stares of the onlookers.  As Heath answered, Jarrod interrupted  “Sorry but I need to get to town, I’ll look forward to seeing you around more Heath, and I’m sure the ladies of Stockton will delight in seeing you at the social.”  With that Jarrod left for the week. 

“I’m going out to see the horses.”  Nick and Heath echoed each other in unison.  Leaving the two ladies alone at the table, which had been cleared of their menfolk in under a minute.   

“Well Mother, are we going to let them get away with this?” Audra quipped. 

“Looks like we have no choice dear, but as we have this time alone, let me ask you a question?  You and Heath are becoming very close.  Do you know if something is bothering him or why he’s gone so much?” 

“Not really Mother, and I wonder as well, but I should point out that he seems happier than when he first came here, so whatever he’s doing it must be agreeing with him.  Maybe he has a girlfriend he’s keeping from us.  I can ask my friends.” 

“He’s a very private person dear, don’t pry.  That’s why I’ve been reluctant to ask him if something is wrong.” 

“I hate to bring this up Mother, but don’t you wish Daddy had known about Heath?  I wish he had an easier life.  Sometimes I look at him and wonder if I will ever truly understand just how much he’s been through, what it must have been like.  Do you understand what I mean?” 

“Yes dear I do.  All we can do now is be there for him.” 

As Audra excused herself from the table, Victoria took the time to ponder her daughters words.  Heath, always quiet, seemed to be distancing himself lately.  She couldn’t pinpoint the reason.  It had just seemed to start and steadily progress.  He was gone more than he was home, and when he returned he went straight to bed.  Maybe he was ill.  She would check with the doctor and make a few other discreet inquiries and see what she could learn. 

Calling Ciego she had the buggy prepared and headed into town, solving the mystery of Heath’s problem driving her on.  Victoria spent an exasperating time in town.  The Doctor had not seen Heath in months.  The telegraph operator hadn’t seen Heath, so Heath hadn’t been conducting long distance business.  The Livery owner hadn’t seen Heath.  The bartender hadn’t seen Heath unless he was with Nick.  Her best friend, Gloria had not only not seen Heath, she had no information on his whereabouts at all, and Victoria had to admit her best friend had her nose in everybody’s business.  It was one of the things Victoria found so charming about Gloria.  If she hadn’t heard of what Heath was doing–or if he was dating no body would.  Victoria was back to square one and it rankled. 

Jarrod had to spend a week in town also, and wasn’t above snooping himself.  He too checked with the doctor and then took a different approach than his Mother.  Knowing the seedier side of Stockton, Jarrod checked saloons and gaming hells, knowing that if something was really wrong, Heath would try and hide it.  He wouldn’t be found in the usual haunts.  He also wired Strawberry’s Marshall and asked if Heath was in trouble up there or if something legal came up that could be worrying Heath.  Jarrod’s questions, as had his Mother’s, all met with dead ends.  Maybe the social would provide information, but Jarrod doubted it.  Without Heath being more forthcoming, and unless someone decided to spy on him, he’d have to learn what was up when Heath decided to tell them.  He briefly considered the spying angle but just as quickly dismissed it.  He wasn’t the sort to resort to spying, but maybe Nick.  Hmm.. that would bear looking into.

Nick and Heath spent their day looking for stray cattle.  At one point as they each searched the gully’s Heath looked up to find Nick stopped,  and followed his line of sight.  Standing above them on the bluff overlooking the Northern Valley was a group of wild horses the likes of which hadn’t been spotted in months.  Heath counted over 12 mares, and the stallion was a site to behold.  Velvety black with white fetlocks its white mane waved in the wind as it seemed to taunt the saddled horses.  A low whistle of appreciation reached his ears as he was ready to return to work.  Seeing Nick still caught up in the wild herd he said, “nice looking bunch aren’t they.” 

“That stallion is a looker, spirited too,”  Nick stated.  “Lets get back to work.” 

As Heath turned he watched Nick forcibly drag his gaze away from the lead horse. *Seems like Nick has a goal,* Heath thought.   Nick continually wanted to have the best  horseflesh at the ranch, and this stallion would definitely add to the high quality Nick maintained. 

The rest of the day Heath pondered Nick’s mood.  Nick was very quiet.  He didn’t say another word the rest of the day, and returned to the house still as silent as he had been since spying the herd of horses. 

Heath tired from all his work and blissfully unaware that he was being scrutinized continued to keep up his hectic pace.  He had enough saved for the saddle he wanted.  It was a more expensive saddle than he needed , but it was perfect.  Not having to pay extras, like room and board, let him indulge himself for the first time in his life.  He hefted the new tan saddle in his right hand and swung it over Gal’s back.  As he tightened the cinches he thought back to his first saddle.  Clem, the livery owner in Strawberry had given it to him.  It was one of the well worn black saddles used in the shop for customers who needed to rent or borrow a horse.  Black was never a color Heath could picture himself in so it held little appeal but it was functional.  The straps had been repaired and replaced so many times Heath likened it to his grandmothers patchwork quilt made up of old dress scraps.  He’d long ago ditched the saddle but the quilt was still with him.  Well a piece of it anyway.    The scrap he still had was small and made up of his grandmother’s wedding dress, his mama’s baptism gown, and two pieces of cloth that his Mama had told him were cousins that had died coming west.  He shuddered to think of the Barkley’s laughter if they ever found out he kept it with him always, but it was truly his only connection with his earlier life.  The pre-Barkley years.  

“Hey Gal, don’t you look fine in that new saddle.”  Heath said.  The minute he got home he intended to rub oil into it to start the loosening up process of the good leather and keep it supple.  Yep, this was his saddle for life.  A real saddle for a working cowboy, made more special by being his first real purchase since Gal.  

In the back of his mind he truly pictured a different horse under this saddle.  One by the name of Charger.  Now Charger was a man’s horse.  Maybe someday he could own a horse as fine as Charger.  As far as Heath was concerned, Charger was by far the best horse the Barkley’s owned.  *Enough dreaming Heath* he thought, you must get home in time to work the saddle and have a long dinner with the family.  He truly wasn’t sure how much longer he could keep his dual life secret. 

Dinner was lavish that night.  In fact it seemed that Monday’s and Wednesday’s had all of a sudden become the big family nights.  The mood was different as well, but Heath couldn’t really place the difference, just feel it.   

If he had been Victoria he would have known it was planned that way.  Designed around his days home in an effort to keep him closer.  Give him a reason to stay more often.  Yes, Victoria planned Monday and Wednesday dinner with Heath in mind, and her mood could be felt by the entire family. 

As the two pondered dinners Audra, ever practical, was pestering about the social. 

“Well Heath, since we’re going to have your company this time, who do you intend to dance with?” 

Coloring slightly he answered, “Any girl who’ll have me, you know their toes are in danger if they say yes.”  

Laughing Nick offered to give Heath pointers. 

“Nicholas, you do dance well, but being good enough to give pointers, I don’t know.  My friend Colleen said you trod on her toes last dance.” 

“That’s because she can’t follow a strong lead” Nick stated emphatically. 

“Sounds like she and I will dance well together Heath said, I’ll look her up at the social.” 

“Now just a minute there boy, Colleen may have had me step on her toes but she is about the prettiest, fieriest, thing in all of Stockton.  Leave her to a man.” 

“When I ask her, brother Nick, a man will be exactly who I’m making sure she spends her evening with” Heath calmly stated as he returned to his dinner.  As each person pondered his statement Audra again broke the silence. 

“Have you met her before Heath?” 

“No, but if she’s all Nick says I’m looking forward to it.” 

*Well he’s not having a secret tryst* mused Victoria. 

The good natured banter continued throughout dinner and over cards.  Heath beat Audra soundly and then also beat Nick 3 out of 4 at gin.  

“Where did you get so good at cards Heath?  I can beat you at chess, checkers, and with the ladies......but at cards, well Heath explain?” 

A softly spoken “we had a deck when I was growing up” was heard “If you’re good enough it can also make the difference between dinner and an empty plate.”  Realizing he’d said more than he  intended he added “Night all.” and headed up the stairs. 

The next morning found the house up early, breakfast eaten on the fly and Heath busily saddling Gal and Coco when Nick reached the barn. 

“You’re up early aren’t you?” 

“We’ve got a busy day, Nick.” 

“You think I’m not aware of that, I run this ranch, remember?” 

Trying to ignore Nick’s surly mood Heath said,  “Of course Nick, just trying to get a jump on the day.  You’ve given me enough chores to last well into tonight and I have to get a move on.”